How To Choose a Partner

Posted on Jun 02, 2017 03:41 PM EDT
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Nobody wants to be lonely, thus we seek a partner to hang around for some time, or for a lifetime. Sooner or later each of us finds his or hers second half. But how do we pick a partner? Every day we meet hundreds or thousands of people. What are those traits that draw us to our perfect partner? Of course some will say that love just strikes you, while others offer a calculated approach to finding your second half. Love does strike and people do often choose a partner based on calculated approach.

Love is unexplainable, and calculated approach may bring you wealth, but doesn't necessarily has anything to do with love. But what can science say about the ways people choose their partners? The psychological researches made from 1940s till nowadays point out that there are several laws of attraction according to which we choose a partner. So, without further ado let's delve into what psychology claims to be our motivation for picking a partner.



Each of us lives in a certain environment, where we have frequent contacts with other people. We tend to grow to like those who are hanging around. We accept people we spend a lot of time with, thus the chances that you're going to like and fall in love with one of them are quite high. That's how the exposure works. That's why romances bloom at high schools, universities, and offices. Contact on a daily basis may easily turn strangers into lovers.

Physical Attraction


The simplest and the most significant motivation of choosing a partner. This is where picking a partner getting quite close to the market laws. Nobody wants to buy something that doesn't look quite appealing. In terms of physical attraction, nobody wants to spend his or her life with someone whom he or she finds physically repulsive.


Of course choosing a partner based on his personality is more individual than anything else, because what we value in people may differ greatly. Tastes are different, still psychology identifies two key factors that the vast majority seek in their prospective partners, and it is competence and warmth. Intelligent people are considered attractive, and they become even more attractive if they are also kind.


Yes, we drawn to those with whom we have something in common. Christians are mainly drawn to Christians, while Muslims are mainly drawn to Muslims. Introverts are drawn to introverts, while extroverts are drawn to extroverts. Educated people prefer to date educated people, while uneducated people prefer dating uneducated people. Basically, similarity saves you a lot of nerves, and prevents you from disappointments.

A lot of people used to choose their partners based on proximity, because long distance relationships were hard to pursue. But the internet made this motivation an old-fashioned one. Besides, more and more people think that foreigners have much more to offer in terms of personal life. Moreover, with our tightly scheduled life it is much easier to learn everything you need about your partner via internet.


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